Wesley Wyndam-Pryce (_hot_wesley_) wrote in geminus_rpg,
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce
_hot_wesley_
geminus_rpg

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Where do we go from here?

Once we're done in the lab, I shepherd Fred out the door with the rest of us. My poor darling girl is still in shock over the kiss Faith gave my twin. Not to say I'm not in shock, but I'm familiar with her behavior, and that makes it somewhat easier to handle.

But not by much.

The four of us pile into the car and decide to eat breakfast at Denny's; a restuarant not far from the firm.

I do hope Fred comes out of her stupor soon. She has me a bit worried.
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I know it's stupid. I know I shouldn't be this shocked over seeing that kiss, but for some reason, I can't help it. I know she didn't kiss the one that I've been referring to my Wesley all night, and from the way Wesley holds my hand and helps me into the car, I can feel that he's concerned about this and how I'm taking it.

It's just so strange. I guess it's the idea that if the second Wesley has been making out or...more with Faith so soon, what does that say about my Wesley. I don't like thinking that, and I probably shouldn't even be thinking that, but part of me can't help it - it's a bit like when I found out that he had been sleeping with Lilah.

God, I'm being stupid. I think I just want to some sort of reassurance. For all I know, I could blowing this out of proportion, and the kiss really was innocent. Or maybe it wasn't, but the second Wesley is a different person now - who knows what he thinks about things. Maybe there are differences about him that a DNA test can't pick up. I mean, Wolfram and Hart have a lot of advances that most of the rest of the scientific world has never even heard about, but the human brain is still one of those things that I don't think even our lab with all our multi-million dollar equipment can even begin to fully understand.

When we reach the Dennys, Wesley comes around to help me out of the car again. Of course, I'm being stupid. He loves me, I know this. I can see in his eyes and the way he wraps his arms around me as my feet hit the pavement.

Giving him a smile, I squeeze his hand and touch his cheek briefly. We'll find out what's going on first and have breakfast, and then maybe we can finally spend some time alone. I think that's why I'm really getting worked up - I haven't been able to just spend quiet time with him since we started seeing each other
I stick close to Earl; fuck what anyone thinks. Someone needs to have his back. If I hadn't come strollin' into the office, there's no tellin' what he'd be doin' right now. I know it has to be killin' him seeing Wes with Fred. That should be him, but it's not, cuz he was created - duplicated, whatever - thanks to Psycho Lab Boy. Fuck knows, I can relate to that. Bein' second to everythin' is the story of my life. Got a-wicked-lot in common, he and I.

We find a booth, so I sit with my boy on one side while Fred sits with hers on the other. Hope Brainy Girl isn't freakin' too bad over my little display of affection. I kinda dig her, but then again, I ain't the greatest at makin' friends, so we'll see. "Yo! We need some menus!", I yell to a coupla waitresses yakkin' behind the counter.
Well, Faith's move has definitely shocked Fred. And it appears that we need to talk about this because I know both she and my twin have questions. Despite my original reaction, it's best to get them out of the way now. We also need to discuss other things as well, such as living arrangements.

Faith is practically shadowing me during our trip over to the local Dennys. I'm actually rather glad for that - it makes me feel less of an outsider. I realize that Fred and Wesley aren't trying to make me feel like I'm some kind of stranger, but it can't be helped given the situation. I'm a copy, no matter what the blood tests say about my stability and my DNA. I'm the one who wasn't supposed to be here, and the one having to watch as the girl I've loved for so long hangs on to...me.

At the restaurant, we take a booth, splitting into the pairs that we've fallen into in the last several hours. It'll make it easier for talking with Faith and myself answering Fred and Wesley's questions, and knowing Fred, she'll have a lot of them.

Yo! We need some menus!"

Of course, she yells right in my ear. Glancing over at Faith, I rub it. "I'm sure they would have brought them over soon," I tell her as the waitress approaches with four menus.

Each of us takes one and give her our drink order - we all order coffee after the night we've had. As she hurries to get a pot for us, we all look at each other, waiting for someone to say something.

Finally, I decide to throw the gauntlet down. "I'm sure the two of you want to know what was going on between Faith and myself in Lorne's office earlier."
I suppose coffee will do for now. I would much rather have some of my tea, but the warmth coming from the mug has a nice calming effect.

"I'm sure the two of you want to know what was going on between Faith and myself in Lorne's office earlier."

"I'm not sure I want to know. But, please, go ahead."

Reaching across the tabletop, I squeeze Fred's hand to let her know I'm here if she needs support. And, perhaps, also, to keep her from attacking Faith.
"I'm not sure I want to know. But, please, go ahead."

I take a deep breath, watching as my twin takes Fred's hand and awaits our explanation of what happened. Sometimes, I really do put my foot in it, jumping in without thinking. Not that I didn't enjoy what happened between Faith and myself. It's just so damn awkward, no matter the fact that I never would be with Fred. I know that she doesn't see me as hers even if she does see me as Wesley in some ways and is unsure of how to deal with this situation. It's there in her eyes.

"I...I wasn't in the best frame of mind when Faith showed up earlier - didn't know what to tell her, didn't know what I was going to do with myself actually. We decided that having a drink sounded really good, so we went to raid Lorne's bar since it was the closest available still in the building." I paused and looked over at Faith. "One drink led to another, which led to another...and pretty soon we were pretty pissed. At least, I was. We were enjoying ourselves and talking, and I knew...I knew that I wasn't - would never - be the original Wesley, and...well..."

I trail off, shrugging and taking a sip of my coffee. Saying it out loud sounds rather lame to myself - I can only imagine how my twin, Fred, and even Faith are taking this. I'm actually almost waiting for one of them to just deck me.
Earl gives Fred and Wesley the skinny on what we did. I hold back from addin' to his explanation, cuz I think I've caused enough damage already. It's my fault that he's havin' to tell them this, in the first place. It was stupid as hell for me to kiss him like that. I'm not usually the type to do that, either; have no idea why I did it. Just had to, I guess.

"One drink led to another, which led to another...and pretty soon we were pretty pissed. At least, I was. We were enjoying ourselves and talking, and I knew...I knew that I wasn't - would never - be the original Wesley, and...well..."

A shiver runs down my spine, when his eyes lock on mine. Is he regretting what we did, now? I remember Wes tellin' me about Fred after he busted me outta The Joint. I watched the streetlights sweep over his face as he told me about his crush on Brainy Girl. It fuckin' hurt me to see him so sad, so broken...so fuckin' lost. Shit, it was like lookin' in a mirror of myself from three years ago. And don't even get me started on that Justine bitch. If I ever run into her in a dark alley, I'm gonna return the favor, but instead of livin' like Wes, she'll die painfully and slowly. Don't matter that I haven't seen what she looks like, cuz I got a pretty good picture in my head.

Lookin' into Earl's eyes, right now? I see it all over again, like a freakin' projector runnin' in my brain. No...I can't do this. I won't be the source of new pain for him.

Suddenly, I jump up from the booth and run towards the door.

I don't belong here. I don't belong anywhere.
When Faith bolts out of the booth for the door, the whole table goes silent, neither of the guys sure what to make of this. Lord, what happened obviously runs a lot deeper than just getting drunk and messing around, and I'm pretty damned sure that's what happened now because anything else? Wouldn't be causin' this kind of reactions from either of them.

"'Scuse me," I say, slipping out of the booth and running after her out the door. "Faith!"

I run across the parking lot, yelling her name, but she doesn't seem to want to slow down. What's she think she's gonna do? Run through morning rush hour traffic like Frogger?

Sorry, no squished Slayer happening today, thanks.

"Faith! Hold up, will ya? You run 'cross the street, I'm just gonna have to follow you, you know, and I'd rather neither of us end up pavement patties!" I put on a burst of speed, knowing that she could probably outrun me in seconds if she wanted to. "Come on. Stop and talk to me. Please!"
I'm nearly to the street, when I hear...Fred? What the fuck is she doin' out here?

"Faith! Hold up, will ya? You run 'cross the street, I'm just gonna have to follow you, you know, and I'd rather neither of us end up pavement patties!"

Why does she give a fuck what happens to me? I thought she hated me?

"Come on. Stop and talk to me. Please!"

Whirlin' around to face her, I push the tears back. "Do you have any fuckin' clue how much he loves you?! Well, yeah; I guess you do, now. But, last year? Not so much, right? He was so broken!" Why I'm yellin' at her, I don't know. Need to yell, though, so she'll do. "God, what-the-fuck-ever. I'm outta here. Congrats, you get both of them!"

I take a huge breath, before turnin' away again. I don't even know this fuckin' chic that well, so why the hell am I gettin' all weepy infront of her? When I speak again, my voice cracks a little cuz of the tears stuck in my throat. "Take care of him for me."
"Do you have any fuckin' clue how much he loves you?! Well, yeah; I guess you do, now. But, last year? Not so much, right? He was so broken!"

What? What does last year...? Yeah, I know, and I know how blind and stupid and scared I was, but how does she...?

Oh, God, Wesley must have told her. The way she's acting toward me, he must've poured out his heart, and she must think I'm the biggest bitch to ever walk this earth or something.

"God, what-the-fuck-ever. I'm outta here. Congrats, you get both of them!"

"Faith, I don't... I never..." Good grief, what the hell am I supposed to say to her? Both of them? I'm not that talented. I couldn't even deal with one guy in the last relationship I was in, and I'm just starting a new one - how the heck am I supposed to deal with two?

"Take care of him for me."

She's turned away from me, but the way she says that... She sounds like she's trying not to cry, and part of me breaks inside. Great, Fred. Why do I always seem to hurt someone no matter what I do in a relationship? Even with Bobby back in high school, and I stopped seeing him because getting into college was more important at the time.

"Faith," I say, reaching out and touching her shoulder, gently so she won't run on me again. "You...you really care about him, don't you? Whatever happened between you and...Wes last night, it wasn't just messing around to you, was it?"
Most of the time, if someone even dares to touch me, I send 'em across the room with one good sling of my arm. However, when Fred touches my shoulder? I can't do it. She's a nice girl. I don't hit nice girls. Unless, it's Buffy. I hit her, plenty of times.

"You...you really care about him, don't you? Whatever happened between you and...Wes last night, it wasn't just messing around to you, was it?"

Fuck, why'd she have to say that? Angry, I brush fresh tears off my cheeks and turn around. "Yeah, well, it doesn't matter how I feel. Cuz, it sure as fuck didn't mean anythin' to him," I tell her, tryin' wicked hard not to sound bitter. Doubt it worked, though.
I sit in the booth in the restaurant, staring at my twin, not sure what to say. Well, this is a fine mess I've managed to get us all into if I do say so myself. Maybe father was right, maybe I am just a screw-up at heart.

I've loved Fred for a long time. But I'm not the "real" Wesley. She loves my twin. It's not her fault that she's more drawn to him than me, but it still hurt a bit. And what do I do? I do my classic move of turning around and finding comfort with someone else.

But I'm actually finding I don't regret last night. Not the way I did after I slept with Lilah. I actually like Faith and care about about what happens to her. I was worried about her taking me keeping quiet badly when maybe I should have been more worried about how she felt about what happened between us.

"Maybe we should go check on them," I say, standing up from the booth and heading towards the door, not bothering to check if my twin if following or not.

Outside, I see Faith and Fred standing near the street and hurry over, just in time to hear them talking as Fred puts her hand on Faith's shoulder.

"You...you really care about him, don't you? Whatever happened between you and...Wes last night, it wasn't just messing around to you, was it?"

"Yeah, well, it doesn't matter how I feel. Cuz, it sure as fuck didn't mean anythin' to him."


"You're wrong, Faith," I hear myself saying before I can stop myself as I join them. "It did mean something. Fred, I--he loves you. More than he can say sometimes. I know because I felt it too. But Faith...last night...I know that I'm not the Wesley that Fred wants, and sleeping with you probably wasn't the best move I could have made given the situation. But...I really don't regret it. I'm not the same Wesley; I know that despite what the blood tests say there's something different about me - and this Wesley...wants to get to know you better."
"You're wrong, Faith...It did mean something."

I jerk my head over to see Earl comin' towards me.

Shitshitshitshit

I'm fuckin' frozen, now. Can't run and hide. Godammit, I hate he can do this to me!

Everthing's a blur of words and sounds until he directs his attention my way.

"...But Faith...last night...I know that I'm not the Wesley that Fred wants, and sleeping with you probably wasn't the best move I could have made given the situation. But...I really don't regret it. I'm not the same Wesley; I know that despite what the blood tests say there's something different about me - and this Wesley...wants to get to know you better."

No. He wants to get to know me? He's not supposed to fuckin' say that!

Lettin' out a loud scream, I charge him, punchin' his chest with my fists. Only thing is? I don't really want to hit him; I want to hit myself. Truth be told, I'm just really, fuckin' mad. "NO! You're lying! You have to be lying! It's not real! Not real!" I scream and punch, yet he doesn't move to defend himself, and that just makes me madder. "I don't want to hurt you!"

Through my screamin', I hear him whisper somethin' to me about fightin' what I'm feeling, and the next thing I know, I'm fallin' against his chest. "Don't want to hurt you," I sob, finally lettin' all the pain and regret flood out. "I'm sorry...so sorry."
When Faith starts punching my chest, I just let her do it, knowing that this has to get out. I acted like a prat, not telling her what was really going on before we slept together, and I deserve her anger. But I'm not prepared for what she yells at me...or the fact that she's not hitting me hard enough to any actual harm.

"NO! You're lying! You have to be lying! It's not real! Not real!"

Has she ever had someone really care about her? She mentioned a boyfriend from Sunnydale, but that she couldn't do the "girlfriend" thing. Is it because she doesn't believe that anyone could actually ever want to get to know her for herself? Has she been hiding behind her bad-girl Slayer image for so long that she doesn't know how to really connect to anyone anymore unless it's through fighting or sex?

"I don't want to hurt you!"

Those words almost hit me harder than her punches because I know now that we're not just talking about last night anymore. Even though things have been "cool" between us for a year now, we never have addressed what happened, what she did.

"It's okay, Faith," I tell her softly, reaching up to wrap my hands around her shoulders. I glance over at Fred, who has backed up to give us some space, her eyes wide. But I'm more concerned about Faith at the moment. "Don't fight this. Let it out."

Suddenly, she collapses against my chest.

"Don't want to hurt you. I'm sorry...so sorry."

Words I don't think she's ever said in her life.

"I know," I tell her, holding her to me. "I know you are. We'll figure this out, Faith. I promise."
I'm probably diggin' my nails into his back, but I need this. Can't quit cryin'. Feels like I hadn't done it in forever, which is just about right, cuz I don't think I have.

He holds me, and I cry harder when he says he knows I don't want to hurt him. I don't have a witty retort for that, cuz the barrier around my heart just fuckin' shattered and the flood gates have opened.

Pretty sure his arms are the only thing keepin' me upright. And, that's fine by me. It's nice to have support.
I'm not sure what to think at the moment. Faith ran out of the diner, and then, once Fred went after her, my twin and I follow them to find out what's going on.

It seems that Faith has feelings for me him. Interesting. I hadn't the slightest idea that she was full of so much...emotion. I'm used to seeing her strong and cocky, but this? This is rather new to me, and I'm not sure what to make of it yet.

I overhear the conversation between he and she, walking over to stand beside Fred as soon as Faith becomes volatile. Instincts are telling me to protect Fred, even though I know Faith isn't that type of person anymore.

Oh dear God...she hasn't forgiven herself for what happened all those years ago? Why? I thought I'd made it perfectly clear to her, when we were fighting Angelus, that I no longer held any resentment towards her for that. Apparently, she didn't believe me. Or, maybe, she didn't want to believe me, because it's easier for her to feel the pain. Poor girl. I had no idea.

I glance over at Fred, the both of us feeling like intruders. This is their moment; it's not necessary for us to stay. I lean into Fred and whisper that we should leave, before going over to our companions. I exchange a look with my brother - need to call him something other than 'my twin'; that's getting rather repetitive and annoying - and with his consent, I place a gentle kiss to Faith's head. "You are completely forgiven, Faith. Let the past go," I tell her, quietly. The only response I get, comes in the form of whimpers and sniffles. I nod at him in compliance, smiling my first, genuine smile at...myself.

Holding my hand out to Fred, I say, "How about we go to your apartment? I have a feeling he'll take Faith to my place later. We could all do for a break."
I'm watching this whole scene unfolding before me, feeling like an intruder and that I should just disappear into thin air. I had heard what she had done to Wesley a couple of years ago - before she went to prison - but I had thought that everything had been dealt with. To see someone holding that much guilt and grief inside...I want to cry for her. She looks so lost and uncertain, and I know what that can be like, not knowing where you are and looking for something to cling to just to survive.

When Wesley arrives beside me, I move over a little closer to him, wondering how he feels about all this. I know that he loves me, so much that I wonder how I could have ignored it and my own feelings for so long, but he's watching a part of himself comforting Faith, telling her that he wants a chance with her.

After he whispers to me that we should leave, I nod and move away a few more steps while he crosses over to the other Wes and Faith, letting her know that he forgives her too. I pray - even though I haven't been religious in a long time - that this gives her what she needs. I tried to help, but it wasn't really my place.

Once he gives his twin the keys to his SUV, he returns to me and takes my hand.

"How about we go to your apartment? I have a feeling he'll take Faith to my place later. We could all do for a break."

I agree - we really all to need some time to deal with everything that's happened in the last 24 hours. I want to spend time with my guy, and they need to work through their issues.

Heading for the sidewalk, we start the walk toward my apartment.
Wes/Faith continued here.
Wesley/Fred continued here.